at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
