She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
