I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
