i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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