You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
