Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize