Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
