I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't turn off my feet"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
