You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
