That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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