well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
