I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
