its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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