is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I need moral support for this bender
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
