It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
where am i from again
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
