arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
