I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
