is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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