I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
