Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
