what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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