ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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