She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
