wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
