So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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