Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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