Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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