I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
