Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
