Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
