You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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