it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize