two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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