dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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