Don't you send me to vm
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
