then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
