This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
