Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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