how can u be prego again
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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