No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
