She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
