There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize