I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
