toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize