hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
