first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
