I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
