She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
