Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you had me at cake vodka
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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