are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
