you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There r osticjed everywhere
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize