If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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