i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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