used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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