Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
