well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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