So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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