K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
