I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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