Swine flu. Run for my life!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
