lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
